A High-Risk Pregnancy?

During my routine prenatal session with my midwife, I discovered that simply because of my height and weight, I will be labeled a “high-risk pregnancy.” At the time, I was not a bit phased by this. I know that the BMI charts were created by insurance companies who are experts on health and would know what a healthy weight and height combination is, of course (sarcasm). My midwife wasn’t the least bit concerned because I told her what my diet looks like and my recent weight loss (roughly 50lbs over the past 2 years). My reply was simply, “Well that means insurance will pay for more tests, right?” and then I laughed. I was genuinely not phased because I know that the BMI charts are a result of a bunch of fat-prejudiced white guys who decided that skinny is better. Whatever. I’m long since over it.

But then…

I called to make an ultrasound appointment and ended up nearly in tears.

To make a long story short, the woman trying to help me schedule my ultrasound heard the words “high-risk pregnancy” and referred me to the only place that does high-risk pregnancy ultrasounds, which severely limited my ability to schedule an ultrasound at a reasonable time and place. Now granted, this was a miscommunication because I have never made an appointment like this on my own and I wasn’t sure how the heck to read the order that had been printed. Also, the woman was asking for information that wasn’t labeled the way she was asking for it. So, I do not blame her for trying to be helpful with the information she had been able to gather from me.

The problem here is that this “high-risk” label caused unnecessary strife for me and my midwife and every other person I subsequently called, nearly crying. (I was frustrated and just wanted to see my baby and do as my midwife needed me to do.)

You see, I spent the next hour and a half trying to get ahold of my midwife and trying to figure out if there really was only one location that I could get an ultrasound done. I got ahold of her, thank goodness. She was lovely and patient and straight up said the information I had gleaned was wrong. (Yay!)

I finally got ahold of the right place and the right person and left out the “high-risk” label while scheduling the ultrasound (for fear that I would get transferred to the wrong place, again) and I got my ultrasound scheduled! It’s today, by the way. 🙂

So, all this to say…LABELS SUCK.

It literally says on my chart: “Obesity complicating pregnancy”

Um, seriously? I’m obese? Since when is a size 12 obese?? Granted I’m not a size 12 through the middle right now, but I’m making a friggin’ person in there so I get a pass.

Here’s a pic of pre-preggers me if you’re looking for a reference point.

The high-risk label really did come as a surprise to me. I figured if the midwife talked to me about my diet and whatnot, she could take the label off. Not the case, it seems. It is discouraging to have made so many changes, to have seen so many changes, but then for it to come to naught, in a sense, when it comes to medical professionals.

Frankly, you can take your high-risk, obese labels and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine. Because I don’t fit those labels. And I’m sure there are plenty more Moms-to-be that are in the same boat as me.

But I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I eat highly nutritious foods—lots of fruits and veggies. I feel better than I have since High School. I have healed and am still on a healing path—spiritually, mentally and physically.

I’ll just need to be my own advocate and go into medical environments remembering how far I have come and how much happier my body is these days.

Eat well. Keep moving. Let your body do what it’s going to do and be the shape it’s comfortable being. I’m not about to force myself to try and fit an across-the-board, generic label that doesn’t allow for difference and diversity. Difference and diversity are what make up this world. And it is wonderfully and beautifully made.

School and Food Choices

Whenever I am stressed with the looming of a paper, or am in the middle of writing said paper, I crave the greasiest, cheesiest, fattiest foods! I think it’s a combination of my brain being on overdrive from working so hard and from not being stimulated in any fun ways. Lol. Food is fun, after all! 🙂 At least for me.

However, I was able to get in some healthy eating today!

I ate HALF of that pile of veggies! And the orange stuff in the upper right-hand corner is ranch with a spoonful of Sriracha sauce! Mmm!!! It’s the best way to eat ranch!!! It’s the best way to eat many things, actually. (If you’re in the mood for a chuckle, check out this entertaining comic about the stuff!)

I also had pizza today, but this is still a step up from my normal eating routine when writing papers! Either I don’t eat and am even more grouchy, or I eat whatever I can get my hands on–which is usually greasy, crunchy things or just a quick trip to Wendy’s.

I’ll probably start listing all my foods and all my symptoms at the bottom of my posts, but for now, I am tired and would rather just skip it today.

You all ROCK! Thanks for reading!

I thought you might enjoy this pic from today’s paper writing extravaganza.
My cat, Trixie, shared the chair with me. 🙂
She’s my baby!

A Mini-Adventure In Juice!

So, first thing’s first. Honesty. It’s one of the strongest values I hold to.

That being said, yesterday and today I indulged in some old fast food favorites. I’ve been feeling pretty icky all day and bloated. Interesting discovery though, I think I have ALWAYS been bloated, or at least since I hit puberty and folks started asking if I was having the PMS symptom of being bloated. This is how I normally feel. I thought I didn’t get bloated because there was no change in the state of things in my gut area, but now I can tell a difference! Quite frankly, I’m glad I indulged because now I know that “normal” for me can be greatly improved upon! 🙂

Last night, my wonderful partner and I watched the documentary film, “Hungry for Change,” and at the end of it, he turned to me and said, “Let’s juice some veggies,” and I said, “Sure!” (You can view the film for free until March 31st, 2013! Check it out here!)

So, I looked up Joe Cross’s “Reboot Your Life” program and we picked one out. Joe is featured in the “Hungry for Change” film and I knew he had some healthy programs on his website that we could use.

First, I was AMAZED that this meat eater would be willing to do just veggies and fruit for one whole day, let alone a whole ten days! I think this says a lot for his real desire, which is to be healthy! And it says a lot for the quality of the documentary, I think! 😀 (I highly recommend the film! Feel free to take some things with a grain of salt, but it also has a lot of information that I, as an average American, had no idea about!)

Second, I think this is going to be fun! I know there will be “bathroom” issues, but it won’t last forever. And besides, I love fruits and veggies! Especially juice! And I drink water like it’s going out of style, so staying hydrated should not be an issue. Also, it’s just ten days. It’s not forever. 🙂

Shaking It Up!

Yesterday was an adventure in smoothies and making my own Indian food! Here’s a pictorial de-briefing of my day:

A superwoman smoothie! At least that’s what I call it. I adapted the recipe from Leanne Vogel’s fantastic website!

Later on, I indulged in this lovely salad:

Soon after, I began to cook up my very first attempt at a vegan, Indian flavored dish!

I think it came out really well! My apartment still smells like an Indian restaurant! Mmm!

I ended my day on this fantastic note!

 

On a side note, one thing that helped jump-start my journey towards health and wellness was the film, “Hungry for Change,” which can be viewed for free until March 31st, 2013! Check it out here!

It gives a good critique of diets, why they don’t work, and what we can do to transform our health. I think they focus too much on loosing weight, but still a good watch!

 

Wednesday, March 20th – Friday, March 22nd

DAILY SYMPTOM LOG 

(My symptoms and diet were virtually the same over these three days, so I combined them.)

SKIN: redness showed improvement, fading; itchy sensation subsided with the exception of one or two areas (stomach and forehead and scalp); raised patches of dry skin remain, but improve greatly with lotion; overall shows improvement; skin actually feels like it’s producing its own oils!

GUT: nearly imperceptible rumblings; generally normal feeling; REALLY normal bathroom experience! Hooray!

OTHER: slightly runny nose/nose congestion & slightly more mucus coating throat than is comfortable

FOOD: allergen-free cereal, organic strawberries, blueberries, chia seeds, coconut yogurt; allergen-free meatballs (ground sage pork, grass-fed lean ground beef, almond flour, olive oil, coconut flour, various herbs & spices) with Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ Sauce;  Raw Greens Massage Salad (olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sea salt, curly green kale, endive, romaine, strawberries, cashews, walnuts, sesame seeds); Balsamic Chicken; Organic Banana

 

Saturday, March 23rd

DAILY SYMPTOM LOG 

SKIN: redness showed improvement, fading; itchy sensation subsided with the exception of one or two areas (stomach and forehead and scalp); raised patches of dry skin remain, but improve greatly with lotion; overall shows improvement; skin actually feels like it’s producing its own oils!

GUT: generally normal feeling; nauseous and gurgling burst onto the scene around 5 or 6pm, before the Indian dish that I made. It was so bad I thought I might loose my cookies, but I did not.

OTHER: slightly runny nose/nose congestion & slightly more mucus coating throat than is comfortable

FOOD: 2 scrambled eggs & sea salt with ketchup; Superwoman Smoothie; Raw Greens Massage Salad (olive oil, balsamic vinegar, sea salt, curly green kale, endive, romaine, spinach, strawberries, sesame seeds, dried cranberries); Indian-inspired rice and veggie dish (long grain brown rice, onions, garlic, tomatoes, yellow pepper, ginger root, peas, golden raisins); 1 organic banana

I aim to please

So, here’s why this change in eating habits is so hard for me: I like to make other people happy. If someone makes food, I want to eat it. Not just because it’s probably delicious, but also because I know that’s a love language for many, MANY people all around the globe! It is customary in many countries to feed people when they come into your realm of hospitality. In America, we don’t emphasize this as much, however, in my family, when someone cooks something, you eat it! This was never a said thing, but rather more tit-for-tat kind of common sense. If someone slaves away in the kitchen cooking for you (because they love you and want to care for you) then you eat the food they give you and don’t wine about it (because that’s how you show them your gratitude and that you appreciate their care for you). So, when I go out to eat, like I did last night to The Indian Jewel, I have trouble expressing my needs. I did ask if there was anything without dairy and she directed me to the chickpea and onion DELIGHT that I went ahead and ordered, but I can pretty much tell that there was wheat in it. About 10 minutes after ingesting it, my nose began to run. This is an indication that I have eaten something that I am allergic to. And as I looked down at the amazing food in front of me, it occurred to me that to make the sauce the chickpeas were coated in, a highly likely ingredient was wheat. Today, I am paying the price. [Insert sigh here.] Homemade is best, specifically Diana-Homemade. 🙂

So, what do I do? I really hate being a bother to people, but the alternative is that I stay away or suck it up and I am tired of sucking it up! That is what has ruined every previous attempt at this and it will not ruin this one! So, do I not go out to eat with my friends? Or do I simply suck it up, and try to gracefully explain my predicament and then abstain from eating? This last option is probably the one I will go with. Despite the fact that this will be awkward and confusing for people at first, hopefully people will come to understand that it is a question of physical health or the lack thereof and then they can eventually be okay with me not eating. Perhaps I will need to start packing my own food so at least my friends don’t feel uncomfortable eating while I am not. Especially right after church when I’m usually starving. HA! That’s a setup for failure right there!

DAILY SYMPTOM LOG

SKIN: redness same as yesterday, shows no improvement; itchy sensation remains; raised patches of dry skin remain.

GUT: slight rumblings; overall unwell feeling.

FOOD: Indian dish (chickpeas in an onion based sauce that may have also had wheat in it for thickening, I forgot to ask before I ordered) with rice; my own sauerkraut creation with apples, turkey sausage, cooking sherry, apple juice (100% juice) & sucanat (dehydrated cane juice, a.k.a. brown sugar); strawberries; blueberries; 1 large gala apple; 1 can coke zero (current as of 6:48pm, 3/11/13)

I ate the leftover Indian food, even though I’m pretty sure it has wheat in it, because I could not bring myself to throw it away for three reasons: #1 — I despise wasting food! #2 — I despise wasting money! #3 — It really was delicious… 😉

This is NOT about losing weight

Many people would look at me and tell me that my weight is a problem. I am 5’4″ and I weigh roughly 210 lbs.

When I was in High School, and in my peak physical condition (from playing sports and training for said sports). I was the same height and I weighed 165 lbs. The height-weight chart that my pediatrician would check when I came in for check-ups said that my healthy weight for my height was 135 lbs. The doctor told me that I was over-weight. He tried to be gentle about it, which I appreciate, but it was clear that he believed that I was not healthy because of my weight. Therefore, I believed the same.

When I got to college, I took my first Women’s and Gender Studies class and learned about fat bias, or fat hatred. Fat bias is weight-based prejudice and discrimination. It is pervasive in our culture and we are enculturated to it with no awareness that it is happening. Fat bias manifests itself in so many ways, I will not attempt to list them all here, but here are two primary ways that fat bias manifests itself:

• fat = bad / thin = good beliefs
• weight-based definitions of health

(For more information, check out Marilyn Wann’s book, “FAT!SO?” or her website or this CNN article about Marilyn Wann’s activism around fat bias.)

For me, this new knowledge helped me to stop hating my body, to stop hating myself for eating food and to stop seeing food as the enemy! This slowly revolutionized my self-worth and the way that I behaved around food. I still have some issues in this area that I am working on, but I can now get creative with food (enjoy food, even!) without feeling like I’m being “bad” for eating more that some celery and carrots because LORD knows I’m too fat to eat anything but that!

Food is fun, not an enemy! We are made to eat, we have to eat to survive! So now, I am asking myself, what is the food I am eating doing to my body? How is the food I am eating connected to my mood, to my cravings, to my emotions? Does one cause the other? Why do I just WANT ice cream sometimes and not other times? What need, social, emotional or mental, is food filling for me? And why do I get more food-focused when I tell myself I’m going to try not to eat “x” food.

This last question is a crucial one because my skin issues and my gut issues seem to be intimately connected to what foods I am eating. I have been experimenting, with myself the “guinea pig” over the past few months and I have begun to see some connections between dairy, wheat and white sugar and my skin/gut issues. When I am not eating those things, my skin begins to clear up and I have less gut gurgling and other issues. So, those are the three things I am for CERTAIN cutting out of my diet. Overall, these are the foods & food like products I am cutting out:

AVOID THESE FOODS:

Dairy

Wheat (anything with gluten–it won’t always say “wheat” on a package)

White Sugar

Eggs

MINIMIZE THESE FOODS:

Soy

Fried Food

Artificial Sweeteners

In avoiding and minimizing such foods, I may loose some weight. I fear this. I fear I will focus on the weight loss, become fixated on that, and forget the real reason for changing my food habits. The real reason for all of this is to find healing for my skin and my gut through food, which I believe can be done, at least partly, if not fully. Being transparent about this fear, of losing my true purpose, will hopefully help keep me on the healthy track.

In addition to being transparent about this fear in this blog entry, I will keep my focus on healing through food by cataloging how my skin and gut symptoms are doing at the end of each blog entry. I will also write a summary of what foods I’ve eaten that day. In this way, my purpose for cutting out certain foods will always be before me and if my body changes, then it changes, but I won’t focus on that so that I can steer clear of the temptation to fall back into believing that I am not good because I am fat.

SKIN: redness remains, but no itchy sensations. raised patches of dry skin minimizing, not as intense as yesterday.

GUT: minimal gurgling, less gas than yesterday.

FOOD: Homemade (no sugar) BBQ Pork with Blue Corn Chips (Organic, Non-GMO); 1 large gala apple; leftover Matsa Man Curry with shrimp from Rose Thai; some cucumbers, carrots, sugar snap peas and red pepper humus; veggies (carrots, red pepper, yellow pepper) & rainbow fruit skewers (pineapple, oranges, blueberries, strawberries, kiwi, grapes)