In one of my past posts I talked about past trauma or grief being a bit like a book that flies off a bookshelf and hits you as you pass by. Sometimes the book just sort of stuns you and it hurts, certainly, but you can keep on walking. Other times the book knocks you flat on your ass. And you can’t keep on walking at that moment.
As I walk this journey of healing, I strive for those moments when the book doesn’t put me on my ass. But yesterday, that’s exactly what happened. And you know what? It’s okay.
Hurting deeply means you cared deeply.
We are allowed to take a moment and lay on the floor where that book hit us and cry. We are allowed to call it whatever it is–unfair, undeserved, etc. Because most likely, it is VERY unfair and VERY undeserved. There are times when calling it what it is — unfair and undeserved — is exactly what is called for and exactly what will help you get through the really, really rough stuff in this life. Now, I’m not talking about those things that we knowingly do to ourselves that could’ve been avoided, like last night when I ate something I knew would give me problems and am today suffering for it. No, I’m talking about when you are completely out of control of the situation. When someone passes away, for example. Or maybe you did everything you could do and the outcome was still unfair and undeserved.
Relationships–friendships, partnerships, family ties–are always a gamble because you never know what the future holds or how people–you included–will behave in all circumstances, always.
However much we try, we cannot control and predict the outcome of a connection with someone. But, if we are wise, we connect with others anyway. Perhaps selectively. And definitely with healthy boundaries. But we connect because there is meaning there.
We find joy as well as pain through our connections.
And, in my experience, the meaning and joy are worth the pain.
That’s why it’s okay to let yourself feel the pain for a bit and stay on the floor when that books knocks you down. Maybe snuggle with a pet while you’re down there. It’s part of life and it’s okay.
You can even call on a friend, or a few friends and they can lay on the floor with you. Just hang out. Maybe bring a blanket, or some wine and chocolate.
Then, when you’re ready…
They can help you get back up.
And they can help you laugh again.
I hear laughter is healing. 🙂
Searching For Health And Healing Through Food 