We Need More Rest…No, Seriously

Two weeks ago, I launched back into blogging with this post: Let’s Rest More

Yesterday, I visited a friend in the psych ward of a hospital. They mentioned how they were just trying to get some sleep and said, “They’re feed us real good. I had salmon for dinner!”

You guys.

The psych ward is this person’s quiet camp.

I re-read my post about my quiet camp experience and discovered that I created my own psych ward. Only I was allowed to walk outside in the green grass and trees. I was also allowed to have my phone, pen and notebook.

But sometimes we need all the things taken away from us so that we can let it go and just rest. It seems that this is exactly what this person was experiencing. A forced shut-down for a short period of time.

But, what happens when they have to re-enter their life? With its hardships and our mental state being only temporarily helped by the rest and nourishment received by the stay in hospital?

Our home lives must be places of rest and rejuvenation. Our regular lives must allow us space and time to heal. Or we are going to end up cycling back to the same place with the same problems.

I’m not about that negative cycle life. I’d much rather work to change and build a new thing, than continuing a nasty cycle of pain and suffering.

I don’t get the point of calling people who need healing and change “crazy” and locking them up in a hospital. Sometimes we need saving from ourselves, yes, but don’t call us crazy. Or, if you do, then we’re all crazy. All of us need rest and nourishment. Some of us are literally driven into a place where we cannot function at all anymore. We are simply done. We have nothing left to give. There is no fight left. And that’s when we end up in hospitals.

But do we find healing there? Lasting healing?

I don’t know.

But what I do know, is this:

Things have got to change.

There is no amount of effort that isn’t worth change. Not for me. I’ve seen what years of working for change can do in my own life. I put loads and loads of my time and money into counseling, retreats, reading books, mentoring, accountability groups and more in order to change myself. In order to transform myself into … me! A joy-filled, peace-loving, unchained version of me.

I lived for many, many years with the chains of other people’s expectations upon me. It took a mental and physical toll on me.

Today, I am a transformed person. And it seems that I will continue to transform as I continue to put time, money and effort into counseling, books, retreats and supportive (as well as challenging) friendships.

The truth is, I am in a good place now. I know what I need and I know how to get it and I do not apologize for my needs.

If I could just get more rest, though…things would be even better! I wouldn’t end up crying and wailing on the couch because I just CAN’T COPE. (Yeah, this was me this morning.) My brain would be able to function. All the “pistons” in my brain would be firing, so to speak.

For years I was on serotonin related anti-depressants and I can tell now that when I don’t rest enough my serotonin levels are affected negatively. (Isn’t that awesome?! I can tell now! I don’t need anyone else to tell me! Like a psychiatrist, doctor or counselor. Yay!!!)

When my brain hasn’t had enough rest, it simply functions tired. Less serotonin gets passed around up there.

Simple and true.

I know because I’ve tested this theory many, many times. I sleep and whatever thing I couldn’t cope with before is much less daunting when I wake. Joy comes in the morning, as they say. For me, it’s true.

So, you can bet your boots that I will be napping later today. Once the kid’s at daycare (and having a BLAST without me, I might add) and I’ve had lunch, I will rest.

Rest and nourishment.

It’s so simple.

At least something in life is simple, right? Whew.

Make Time For Nothing

Making time for nothing seems like a ridiculous notion.

But what would it feel like to have nothing pressing on you? Nothing demanding your time? Nothing to take care of except your normal, every day bodily needs like drinking water, eating nourishing food, using the restroom and resting as needed.

This is what I experienced at Quiet Camp.

A whole week of nothing.

And it was not a waste of my time. In fact, it was some of the best spent time I’ve had in quite some time.

Our society values hard work. It values it so much that people find it perfectly reasonable to work at the expense of one’s physical, emotional and mental health. There are so many professions and lines of work in which this is 100% normal. And often our solution is to numb out, ignore the issues that created the disfunction, and to just keep pushing on.

There are times when pushing on, despite failing health and wellness, is absolutely necessary. There are seasons to life. There is an ebb and flow to the work load that we are called to do at different times. But that’s just it. These seasons of hard, hard work have turned into an all-year event.

Imagine if it were summer ALL THE TIME. Whatever your summer looks like, imagine that it was always like that. Even in temperate areas on this planet, there is change throughout the year. There are seasons. Imagine that it was the same all the time.

We need seasons of nothing sprinkled throughout our years, our months, our weeks and maybe even our days.

That’s what the concept of Sabbath touches. This need for seasons of nothing amidst our hard work.

It’s okay to be tired. So many of us are tired these days. The problem is that we seem to stay tired. And we can’t be forces for wholeness and love and revolution if we stay tired all the time.

Perhaps it is more appropriate if I only speak for myself. Allow me to re-phrase: I can’t be a force for wholeness and love and revolution if I stay tired all the time. I’ll just stay grumpy and short-tempered and unhappy. I don’t want that for myself, let alone my family or friends.

I can see why I am tired. I have a toddler who doesn’t stop. Every waking moment is chock-full of exploring, playing, learning, cooking food, eating, etc. She’s constantly changing. Plus, I’m a wife and my husband and I have to try to keep a house clean and orderly. Mostly we can’t keep up. We have friends and a faith community that we expend a lot of time and energy on. There’s not much time left for cleaning or nothing. A.K.A. Sabbath.

But, in all of this, we find joy and fulfillment. Yet, we are also tired.

So, I am left wondering what good things to say no to in order to carve out time for nothing.

When I returned from Quiet Camp, I felt resilient, joyful and energized in a way I have not in years.

Now, I understand the value of sabbath. I want to get back to that place. I want to learn to prioritize time for nothing.

Despite how against the grain this is, I will make time for nothing. I will let go of the to do list during my nothing times. I will order my days, weeks, and months for nothing time. I will keep an eye on my priorities and let the rest go. Things that aren’t a priority, I will say no to.

Because I want to be able to relax and enjoy watching my toddler pick sprinkles off her doughnut. I want to run around the house holding my toddler while we chase Daddy. And I want to sit, breathe and enjoy a cup of coffee that is actually hot.

It’s the little things that bring joy to our lives.

Nothing time makes time for these little things. Nothing time makes time for us to LISTEN to our selves. Then, we have time to do the things that we heard we needed. Like cooking something nourishing, enjoying a beverage, doing something creative, reading that book you’ve been meaning to read, or just taking some deep breaths.

Sometimes, all we really need is some time to stop and take a few deep breaths.

Let’s make time for nothing.