Sending Out An S.O.S.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, many of us get the message that we are supposed to live our lives successfully on our own. We have this idea that when trouble comes, be it health issues, job stressors, or life changes, that we must suck it up and figure it out alone.

This is just not the case.

On October 26, 2015 at 8:48 p.m., a new life came into my world and changed so many, many things.

I have a new definition of hard work. I know now that I can survive a lot more than I had previously thought possible. But what is not new is my understanding that I am allowed to ask for help. There are people who will lovingly respond when I send out an S.O.S.

Her birth did not go as planned, which I expected because I know life is full of surprises and twists. However, I did not expect it to go quite so off-track. After over 17 hours of labor, my cervix was still at 3 centimeters and my little baby was not doing well. We called in the doctor and started steps towards a cesarean. This was more than a bit unexpected and my poor husband was feeling more than a little out of sorts with his wife and unborn child under such duress. So, he called in some support and they arrived likety-split.

As far as I can tell, we did everything right. I labored for more than 12 hours without medication. Then, I labored for a while with medication. Still, I was at 3 centimeters. I have little clue as to why I was stuck, but it is what it is. I am elated that my doctor is so good at what she does because it translates into a healthy Mom and a healthy baby at the end of the day.

Of course, I didn’t know it then, but this was only the beginning of the hard work of parenting. I have sent out so many S.O.S. texts and calls at this point that I have lost track of all the help and support our little family has received. You get this beautiful new life deposited in your life and, as one friend wisely said, “They don’t come with an instruction manual.” The books didn’t really help. The support from family and friends? Priceless. Simply irreplaceable.

Humans are wired for connection. Brene Brown taught me this fact. When we rely on the connections we have built, we become stronger and more able to take on the hard work that life has to offer us. We are better able to rise to the occasion. We are better able to heal after challenging times as well.

After going home from the hospital, I remember waking one night, screaming in pain. My mother was there and she helped me. The doctor said I healed well and I healed quickly from the surgery. I credit this to all the support we received.

To the many, many friends and family whom I have texted and called at all hours of the day and night, I thank you. WE thank you. There really are not enough “thank you”s to cover our depth of gratitude. We owe much of our happiness to you!

There are people who will lovingly respond when you send out an S.O.S., too. Asking for help when we need it is a skill that is learned and developed. If you haven’t learned it yet, I advise starting to learn it now. Life is happier and much more fun when we are able and willing to draw others into our challenges and struggles.

May peace well up within you again and again in this wonderful new year. Happy 2016!