Letting Go of Desire

May 1, 2014 by maggiehugs 2 Comments

The question that has been with me for some time now is:

How do you let go of desire?

There are a great many things that can and do fall under the umbrella of “desire” such as love, money, education, health, food, physical needs, knowledge, fame, romantic relationship, children, safety, position in life, etc. These are just some possibilities. Really anything that you “want” can also be seen as something you “desire” and that is what I am talking about here.

For me personally, I have recently struggled quite a bit with desire. Specifically, it has been the desire to loose more weight.

Over the past two years, I have lost nearly 40 lbs from doing what this blog talks about–healing my body through food. The weight loss was a side effect of the change in my eating habits. At least, that’s my theory. And yes, I am eating. I’m eating plenty. I promise. A friend recently said, “Wow, you lost weight. You look good, but…I just have to ask…it’s because I care…are you eating?” (Thank you for asking, by the way! I appreciate it! After all the stress of this past year, that is a very valid question!) I’m eating meat, veggies, nuts, honey and fruit 90% of the time. No grains. No starches. No sweeteners–artificial or otherwise. No fried foods. Low on the salt, since I’m cooking it all myself pretty much. The other 10% of the time is when I eat something that I’m craving and then get “sick” as I call it. Basically, my symptoms come back, or start to, and I’m reminded of why I’m eating and living differently in the first place.

Here’s the thing. I never asked to loose weight. It was never a goal and I was intentional about it not being a goal and so, I let go of the desire to loose weight and focused all my energy on symptom elimination and overall wellness improvement.

And it is working! My symptoms are roughly 70% gone. If they’re not gone, they’re lessening or improving in some way. Since I’ve had many of these symptoms for YEARS, I figure it’s going to take time for everything to heal. I just try to make sure I’m eating a wide variety of vitamin rich fruits and veggies. I’m doing pretty good! Just gotta get more leafy greens in there.

Okay, so, enough with the details of what I’m eating and back to desire…

I really wasn’t seeing what other people were seeing until I saw this picture…

Washington D.C. Zoo, May 2009

Yeah, the seal is cute, but it was the tightness of the shirt that got my attention. See those rolls of fat on my side/back? They’ve been significantly minimized. Here’s a pic from today…

And as I look at this picture, I am happy with the change and I most certainly desire for a bit more change, a bit more minimizing, a bit more weight loss.

But here’s the thing. I really, REALLY want to let go of the desire to loss more weight. You know why? Cuz it leads me to be ungrateful and unhappy with the skin I am in now.

That is how I spent most of my life so far: wishing I were in someone else’s skin, or wishing my “me” was different than it was. And I am most certainly DONE wishing I was someone different than who I am.

I’m pretty darn fabulous. Back fat included. 🙂

So, I am just going to keep eating foods that create wellness within my body, keep taking care of myself in that really good way and let go of the desire to loose weight.

I am happy with my body now. It is pretty darn fabulous, what it does for me! And being in the skin I am in, that’s a gift that I treasure. 🙂

I am happy with my health now. It has greatly improved and so I am going to happily continue down this path of wellness and self care!

Besides, ain’t nobody got time for self hate.

Here’s some happy for ya…