I have severe skin issues. I call it that because it’s been labeled psoriasis and eczema, depending upon which doctor I was seeing. It manifests itself in a great variety of ways, as itchy blisters on my fingers and the palms of my hands, as itchy bumps on my chest-back-scalp, or as severe red-dry-raised-itchy patches on my shoulders-chest-face. I have had such symptoms for as long as I can remember…from embarrassing bandages all over my palms and fingers to cover my bursting itchy-blisters in fifth grade (and being made fun of for this) to my Mom telling me stories about being an infant and having red patchy skin, my skin issues have been with me.
However unpleasant this may seem, my current health concerns stretch beyond these unsightly, uncomfortable skin issues. When I was in my early twenties, I began suffering from abdominal pain. I went through a series of tests and doctor appointments to finally be told that I had hemorrhagic (blood-filled) cystitis on my ovaries that would come and go and that, basically, I would just have to suffer through them unless they got really bad and then … well, I don’t know what they would do, because I was determined to suffer through them. (I know now the best way to deal with the piercing pain is to remember to keep BREATHING. When I first started having pain, I would hold my breath until it passed. Bad idea. The pain is much more endurable when I remember to breathe.)
Several years later, I had a gastrointestinal virus in October. It was the most sick I have ever been, still to this day. After this havoc-wreaking event that befell my body, my gut has never been the same. All of a sudden, there was incessant gurgling in my stomach and abdomen. At times my stomach visibly vibrated from the gurgling. To spare you some details, let’s just say there were other embarrassing and unpleasant symptoms. As February came to pass, these symptoms persisted, so I went to the doctor. She told me to walk more, eat more yogurt and rice and I should be fine. I did these things. Nothing changed. In fact, the yogurt made things WORSE. (I now attribute this to the sugar and, perhaps, a dairy allergy that has been hiding from me).
Now, almost four years later, and various other doctors having a go at my intestinal issues, little has changed. It may seem like I’m complaining about a trifle, but this trifle infects almost every moment of every day for me. These symptoms–all of them, the skin and the gut issues–are constant companions, constant distractions. This trifle gut issue makes eating a miserable experience. What will this food do to me? How will my gut react to it? Will I suffer for having eaten this? Will I have pain? Will I break out and itching symptoms worsen? There is little rhyme or reason to my body’s reactions to various foods.
In recent months, I have begun to despair. I am tired of doctors. They’re not bad, by any means! We need doctors! I just don’t think that they are as in tune with my body as I am. I think that the issues I am having are connected to the food I am consuming. I think it’s time for me to listen to my own body. I think it’s time to take care of these things in a grass-roots type of way, bottom up change–change that starts with ME. It’s time to listen to my inner wisdom and maybe even pray (a.k.a. listen) for guidance.
Over the past couple of years I have been on a bit of a roller coaster of trying to heal myself by eating differently. Each time I start out with a plan, prepare well, but then when I am feeling overwhelmed with work-school-marriage-family-friends-etc, the best laid plans fall to pieces. So, I figure, why not share my story? Why not make public this struggle for health and healing (of my gut) so as to feel accountable to someone besides myself? Even if no one reads this, I think I will still feel an obligation to update this blog, to keep track of my progress, to lay bare my struggles each day, if for no other purpose than my own processing and reflection.
So, it begins. My slightly-restrained (I will spare you some of the sordid details) online account of my journey, my searching, for health and healing through food (and the occasional low-impact workout). I hope by sharing my story, I might help someone else with their story.
-Maggie
(Me on a good skin day…)
Searching For Health And Healing Through Food 